Azriel versus the Blue Djinn

According to this really scary article from TIME, most Americans not only believe in angels, but they actually will assert if asked that a ‘guardian angel’ has directly interceded on their behalf on at least one occasion. Seriously.

More than half of all Americans believe they have been helped by a guardian angel in the course of their lives, according to a new poll by the Baylor University Institute for Studies of Religion. In a poll of 1700 respondents, 55% answered affirmatively to the statement, “I was protected from harm by a guardian angel.”

Too bad we can’t get these angelic superheroes to pull their weight (do they have mass?) when we really need them… like when fracking planes are flown into fracking buildings by crazy people. Or perhaps these angels would like to get off their fat fluffy asses and stand in front of our soldiers – hell, ALL soldiers – when a bomb goes off. Are our unseen guardians afraid that if they do, the Iraqis will unleash squadrons of djinn and ifrit?

I can see it now: shaky CNN cameras sending live feeds straight from the front lines, as giant blue men with tornadoes instead of legs swing bloody scimitars left and right, locked in spectacular combat with a gleaming host of seraphim, their flaming swords corruscating in the desert sun. Cherubim, diving like bumblebees through the chaos, shoot golden arrows through the heads of helpless Iraqi soldiers, while blazing ifrit pour eldritch fire onto the hulls of American M1 Abrams tanks. Overhead, legions of flying carpets dogfight with Apache gunships.

Is this what W imagines when he thinks about Iraq? It wouldn’t surprise me.


~ by Planetologist on September 19, 2008.

One Response to “Azriel versus the Blue Djinn”

  1. I’m not convinced W thinks at all.

    Religious surveys are depressing. I’d like to think that one day soon reality will finally win out, but I think we’ve plateaued.

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